Helping Middle Schoolers Move Toward College and Career

At a recent outing, I fielded a common--and becoming more common--question.

"How can I get my middle schooler college-ready?"

I heard the immediacy in the mom's voice.  I also heard the fear. Fear of failure, of not doing enough. This mom was looking for the one right answer, the right formula. I wanted, with all my heart, to give her a solid, tried and true answer. But, I couldn't.

As a mom of past middlers, a mentor of parents who've trod this path and a wife of a twenty-seven year veteran middle school teacher, I could only offer this mom insight to potential considerations; insights from our experiences and the experience of other parents we knew. And, perhaps those insights could set her on the next right step for HER child. 

College was still five years away.

I reminded her changes would take place. Physical development and brain maturation would continue. I told her to seek insight but be wise, discerning, to ponder possibilities, not taking the first opinions or ideas tossed her way. 

I encouraged her to embrace the current season, less she miss it worrying about tomorrows. 

I affirmed middle school is indeed about content and skills, but it is even more about the relationship between parent and young adult, the middle schooler's interests and what captures the middle schoolers heart.

Walking alongside the ingenious, changing person, being present and willing to process ideas and aspiration, helping her middle schooler discover gifts, strengths and areas of growth would impact who her middle schooler would become. 

• Reflecting upon the young adult's interests. What are the current interests? How does he or she spend free time? What activities does the young adult find fulfilling? In our experience, these interests helped determine course selection and extra-curricular choices as high school approached and then became reality.

• Anticipating interests which might still be hidden, yet to be discovered. What does the middle schooler wish to try or experience in the next few years? Mike and I came to realize early in our middle school parenting experience that the lesser known interests were just as important as the obvious talents and strengths. In fact, several of our then middlers found the lesser known to be more influential in planning their next steps toward high school.

• Considering how the middle schooler learns best. Does learning happen best outdoors? Is there greater retention in independent study or experiential opportunities? Our middle schoolers have ALL learned differently. Every. Single. One. One needed quiet. Another needed hands-on experiences. Yet another needed creative outlets. How middlers learn best matters.

• Learning study preferences. These are different than learning preferences. These are things like note taking, skimming and scanning, and study skills. Would 3 x 5 cards with vocabulary words penned opposite side definition work better than an online auditory drill game? Or would the oral input be more beneficial? Is a word web better than outlining because a visual image is saved by the brain? What about taking notes in color? Study preferences become key components of learning when higher learning becomes focused or must be time efficient.

• Focusing on the development of soft skills. We have found soft skills were more difficult to acquire and internalize than learning Algebra formulas, but were increasingly more important to our young adults in high school and post-secondary education. Is the student working to be more independent, more able to solve problems independently but also proficient in working with other people in collaborative projects? Was the young adult able to self-govern emotions, choices and attitudes? Parents can only control choices, attitudes and time management for a time. We found our young adults, as well as the young adults we work with, must be academically ready for college but even more importantly, be ready emotionally and spiritually.

• Processing tough questions. Middle schoolers face challenges. Hormones. Friends. Disappointment. Middle schoolers need both encouragement and grace to navigate those challenges, as well as plenty of opportunities to make mistakes and regroup. Mike and I have found it essential to be available to field questions and process possible scenarios. This processing was key to moral and social development of our children.

As my time with my friend came to an end, I knew there was much more that could be said on the subject, and likely ideas I hadn't considered or experienced. I reminded the mom there would be as many opinions as there were options.  

I knew she could find the answers she needed today as well as for the questions of the many tomorrows yet to come, however multi-faceted they might be.

And, with a hug, I told her she was the best mom to find the answers for her middle schooler and that she would find answers by wisely seeking and pondering; though the process may not be easy or comfortable. 

She knew college was on the horizon, but the answers were in the questions of her todays.

Learning from Interviews

If your learner had the opportunity to interview a professional, would he or she be prepared?

We can’t possibly know everything about every profession. No one can. However, parents do have the ability to coach middle and high schoolers through the process of being prepared to ask questions, should they find themselves in a situation where they can ask questions.

This is an important step in empowering teens to learn from people in professions of interest.

Let’s say your high schooler is interested in veterinary medicine. Your background is in business and finance.

How do you help your young adult learn more about vet medicine?

Find a trusted professional who is willing to share his or her passion, and then ask. Most people are eager to talk about what they love. In the process, your young adult is afforded a chance to learn about the education requirements, niche areas of the profession, and perhaps the career outlook at the time when you learner will be trying to land a job. Should an ongoing mentor relationship form, there may be a potential connections made for future employment.

Identifying a person who could be interviewed is the first step. The second step, preparation, is key. Intentionality often reaps the greatest reward (another one of those life lessons our high schoolers learn from experience.

Preparing for an interview is essential. If someone carves out time from his or her busy schedule to meet with a high schooler, preparation is a form of respect. The meeting not only allows the learner to glean the most helpful information possible, but also shows gratitude for the professional’s time. Some high schoolers will decide they need help brainstorming a list of questions to be asked. Others may determine there is a need to role play a mock interview. And, there will be some who prefer to work more independently, creating a list and seeking input or feedback once their preparation is complete. This process is another step on the path to discovering how one learns best through the unique benefit of experiential opportunities.

When our high schoolers showed interest in an area and wanted to talk to professionals or tradespeople, we developed a list of questions. Here is a list to jump start the thinking process. I offer a full list in the appendices of my book, More than Credits.

• How did your high school experiences benefit your career?

• Where did you attend college?

• How or why did you decide to choose this college?

• How did your post-secondary studies influence your career?

• Which post-secondary courses were particularly beneficial in your career preparation?

• Is there something you feel would have been helpful—maybe even a different major—than what you pursued?

• How do you see your career field changing in the next five years?

When preparing to interview someone in a trade or technical field, we adjusted our list of questions to address trade-specific aspects of a field. The complete list is also included in the book, but these samples provide a place to start as you and your learner develop a list of questions.

• Did you earn industry certifications and if so, which were helpful to you?

• What should I consider as I research post-secondary education options?

• What skills do you use every day?

• What types of writing do you do in your field?

The high school journey is more than taking tests and finishing study guides.

There is a place for these in education, but it is important to remember these aspects of learning should not overshadow and crowd out some of the most beneficial ways our young adults gain knowledge—through experiential learning opportunities like interviewing professionals.

More than Credits is available on this site or through Amazon.