Celebrating the Senior Year

We’re celebrating another senior. Bittersweet in some ways, exciting in others. Emotions and feelings vary day-to-day, even minute-to-minute, for parents as well as the grads-to-be.

In these spaces there’s the potential to bring us together—deepening relationships—kindness, grace, and room for processing the feelings and emotions of the milestone are vital to smooth transitions in the journey.

This year is our fifth senior year. Each one’s been different, unique. We’ve had athletes experiencing that “last” game, seniors pondering whether to make the decision to venture to an out-of-state school or manage costs and remain close. Some have worked in the field while attending school, others launched and then looked for work.

In addition, I've also walked alongside many, many parents of seniors.

Takeaways? Indeed, there are.

There’ve been tears with goodbyes, smiles celebrating weekend visits, and multitudes of reflections accompanied by sweet memories.

The one common thread? Each parent and each student processes the season in his or her distinct way.

Listen Intently. Listening without an agenda can be difficult, especially if the senior year brings about changes, new experiences—moving onto campus, remaining at home and taking on a job, watching as friends enter the next season of life. Being available and listening without chiming in with opinions or throwing a zinger help celebrate the senior year as well as the graduate, with all the uniqueness encompassed.

Give Time. Give them time to process. Changes abound. For some graduates-to-be, the looming change will be moving to a residence hall on college campus. For others, the bittersweet will come as an athletic era comes to a close; not playing the sport enjoyed for a decade or more can be difficult. Learners and parents need space and time to process the pending changes, with grace to reflect on the hard as well as the triumph. Taking time to express affirmation and or offer a hug go along way, too.

Keep an Open Mind. Interests wane. Possibilities arise. A learner who never desired to go to college may decide to apply, last minute, during the winter of senior year. Likewise, a young adult once considering one college may choose to pursue an employment opportunity. Plans change. And, sometimes plans change more than once! When they do, young adults supported by loving, supportive parents willing to look for solutions and possibilities are more likely to navigate change with courage and confidence.

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“Young adults supported by loving, supportive parents who are willing to look for solutions and possibilities are more likely to navigate change with courage and confidence. ”

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As challenges surface in the high school years, breathe! Consider options. Make adjustments. Encourage your young adult through the journey—the trials and the triumphs. In doing so, you and your high schooler—together—can adjust plans and head out in a different direction, if needed.

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Anticipate Beyond the Tassel. As your learner walks through the high school years toward the turning of the tassel, remember that the final walk across the stage is just the beginning. The picture is much bigger than the knowledge stored up in the learner’s mind. It is not even about the universities to which the learner has been accepted. Though there are great accomplishments behind those acceptance letters, they don’t have to define the person. The celebration is about whether the young adult understands his or her strengths and has a willing, open heart eager to make a difference in the community, the nation, and the world. That is what it means to plan and finish well, and it is well worth the time, energy, and sacrifice put forth by you and your young adult. YOU can finish well and celebrate high school!

Fast Parenting? Yes, Please!

There is nothing quick about parenting; growing child to adulthood. Though we often try or prefer to make parenting instantaneous through quick sound bites instead of face-to-face conversation and interaction, what’s instantly gratifying isn’t necessarily the most productive. For me, there were days when I wanted fast answers with practical tips and positive results, right now! They would have been highly convenient, but not necessarily helpful to our long-term vision for our family.

I admit, fast, immediate, no-fail solutions resonate with me, especially on full days with lots of commitments and needs. Hence, there were days when I searched and searched, scrolled Pinterest boards and read blogs. Surely someone had encountered my debacle and WON?

• The day dear daughter cut off all her bangs to the root and tried to tape them back on, only to find it would take months and months to grow out. I had no hair tonic to promote growth, though I wish I had. Life lessons noted.

• The morning 30 pounds of laundry powder poured atop three loads of dirty laundry sapped my energy and made me wonder if the entire day would offer similar treats.

• The day dear child asked questions about how to prepare for marriage and I knew the answer would be more than a pat answer or five-minute conversation. Instead, the conversations were many, over years, and eventually led to a beautiful marriage. Definitely not a one-and-done parenting recipe. Instead, the conversations were unique to the situation, nothing I could have borrowed from anyone else. I’m thankful for the times we sat and listened. It mattered.

• The evening, when after months of waiting and visiting, great-grandma passed away and there were a slew of questions. I didn't have the immediate answers we all would have prefered. Conversations and hugs healed hearts as together we remembered Grammy’s impact on our lives; years of togetherness and with-ness.

• The morning our van started on fire in the driveway and our children were concerned we wouldn't have a big enough vehicle to transport us all. I didn't have an immediate answer or a delivery service to provide another vehicle. The process of waiting grew our faith and provided just what we needed.

Fast forward some years with now grown adult children. It has become apparent that the best solutions had no easy answers. There are no quick, fast shortcuts in parenting. My adult children didn't become adults overnight (though at times I wonder where the years went) and the path, the journey, was a process. Their journey to adulthood and my adventure as a mom wasn't picked up at a drive-thru window.

The journey was an aged, slow-cooked process. 

How to Create Your Own Timeline

I remember one season of our home education journey when everyone—preschool to high school—studied American History. I intentionally planned for the year, knowing our days with five learners our would be full and there would be lots of excitement buzzing about the home. Having everyone study American history on his or her level helped simplify our home learning.

“Timelines help children place people and events in history. They are a concrete visual of often abstract concepts. ”

In one particular part of that year, we were all digging into the American Revolution. Some enjoyed learning about George Washington while others wanted to act out the Boston Tea Party. The resulting conversations became engaging as siblings shared what was being read in biographies, heard on Liberty Kids, or gained from audio materials like Drive Through History. In addition, every learner had a different angle or perspective on the men, women, and events of the time. To tie everyone’s study together, we created a family timeline; an activity that could involve everyone.

“We’ve made several timelines over our 26 years of home education. Every one was unique, every one different based on our study of the time. ”

Our hallway timeline. When I want our timeline to be accessible, in sight and readily available at any given time—like a world map or globe—it extends the length of our hallway at a child’s eye level. To create this timeline, I pulled a stack of sentence strips from my supplies. Had I not had them leftover from a sentence-building exercise, I would have used four-inch strips of card stock or poster board. I taped the strips down one side of the hall and up the other; end-to-end the length of the hallway. Once hung, I used a permanent marker to write dates in fifty year increments, beginning with 1200 (1200, 1250, 1300, 1350 and so on). If you choose to this DIY project, you can easily adjust the dates for the length of your hallway, with the extent of your study in mind.

With several children adding to the timeline, there’s been times when all eyes were on the hall wall, times when siblings were interested in what others were placing on the wall. Our children are curious about the people or events they were studying but also interested in what they siblings were learning. Questions were asked. Siblings answered. Sometimes they enlisted my help. I love watching the process, observing their thinking and problem solving, their summations of what had been learned.

Our file folder timeline. One year I wasn’t quite ready to add tape to the freshly painted hall wall. I had to come up with another option. An abundance of file folders from cleaning out our old metal file cabinets provided us with instant cardstock. I cut the folders in half and glued them together so they would folded, accordian-style. Once folded, the timeline could be stored on a bookshelf. When a learner wanted to add a picture, he or she pulled out the timeline. This version saved my walls, but it didn’t create the same buzz as having the timeline out, front and center, to stop in front of and ponder.

Adding Pictures

The fun part of creating a timeline is adding the pictures. Children love to cut and paste. For the pictures, we use the index of old textbooks (discarded by my history teaching hubby) to locate needed pictures. For example, if a learner is searching for a picture of Alexander Graham Bell, I teach (or review with) him or her to use the index, which requires alphabetization (as study skill). We head to the “B’s” and the move to the “BE” words, and so on. Once we locate the page where Alexander Graham Bell is featured, we cut out any pictures. We follow the same procedure for any person or event studied. Cut out pictures are added to the timeline. If we can’t find a picture, we find a picture on the internet and print it.

Learning is fueled by excitement and engagement. Our timelines add to the engagement, especially the hallway timeline. And, I love that it was accessible. Anytime children walk down the hallway, they’re re-engaged and make observations (“Wow, so many things happened in 1776!”). Timelines offer constant review and consistent reinforcement. And, in those seasons when I have had to repaint the hallway, I smiled as I remembered the discussions which had taken place in that space. We learned history, but we also learned together.

Every. Moment. Matters.

30 Ways to Celebrate Your Homeschooling Days Together

School is about to start.

Some families will be shifting educational gears and bring learning home. In that transition, children may be pondering (and even disappointed by) the special days they will miss; days or events they were looking forward to or older sibling had a chance to experience. Navigating this transition can be difficult; however, there are ways to celebrate the new and different—creating new favorites which may become annual traditions. Though our family has been a homeschooling family for over 26 years, we have looked for ways to make our days together, special, something to anticipate and look forward to. Homeschoolers do not have to miss out on celebrations—the festivities may just look different.

Special days can still be special and memories can still be made.

Consider

• purchasing new school supplies together; each child choosing his or her colors for notebooks or special pencils

• purchasing new glue bottles

• restocking art supplies—or creating a new art space—and allow each child to choose a new supply or medium he or she would like to experience

• choosing a new backpack or lunch box if attending a co-op

• purchasing new sneakers or outfits for the year

• taking pictures throughout the year of special events, friends, milestones, adventures, and memories to make a yearbook at the end of the year

• creating a special workspace

• taking a mid-day nature scavenger hunt

• having a game day (playing educational games listed here)

• allowing each child to purchase some new picture or non-fiction books of interest

• renewing your family library card and go to lunch afterwards

• taking back-to-school, first day pictures and do the same on the last day

• celebrating the 100th day of school-at-home (schools celebrate the 100th day of school) which requires counting the days beginning with the first—great for counting and calendar skills

• planning a field trip once a week or twice a month

• enjoying a picnic lunch out under a tree or by a lake

• surprising a child with an individual date with mom to do math at Chik Fil A (one of our favs)

• planning a family get-away after the first eight week, first semester, or at the end of the year

• doing science experiments with another family

• taking learning outside for the day (everything is outside—we love doing this the first sign of cooler weather)

• baking a cake for Dad just-because-we-can day

• allowing your child to make the schedule for the day

• preparing a special meal day—all purple meal, circle meal, square snacks, for example

• watching a family movie once a week

• inviting another family (or two) to do a park day or field trip

• participating in Pizza Hut Book-It

• visiting a nature walk area or preserve (picnic lunches are amazing in these venues—don’t forget a small brown back to collect treasures)

• making a treat-a-week; for example, Wednesday is baking day

• taking grandma to lunch or invite her over for a tea (good for everyone involved!)

• making mailboxes for each family member so that other members can send fun or encouraging messages or leave a small treat (another of our favorites, especially at Valentine’s)

• working with grandpa in his shop

• visiting a local U-pick farm

• declaring a clay day

Kindergarten at Home: What Little Learners Need

The Kindergarten year lays the educational foundation for life and learning.

In fact, it is during the Kindergarten year that little learners get their “first taste” of “school”. What they think about “school” and who they are as a learner is developed from their experiences in this first year. That’s weighty to me, but also freeing—so you are not alone if that hits you hard. Keep reading, there’s help and freedom in this decision.

There’s freedom in choosing what’s best for your family from the buffet of choices.

Kindergarteners  master foundational skills which serve as a knowledge base for the years and skills to come. Included in that foundation are the attitudes toward learning.  If the days and the education in those days are rushed—pushed—learning becomes burdensome, uninteresting, and often irrelevant. When learning flows naturally from that which is real and relational—interesting and personal—joy and wonder fuel their unending curiosity.

A love of learning is nurtured and begins with the items and people little learners love most.

I reminisce over the years we’ve spent with our Kinders. There’s been eight of them. I also taught K4s prior to coming home with my own. For my first-hand experience, I know these years can be fun, soul-nurturing, and satisfying. Here’s a peek into how we’ve done Kindergarten.

Nurture Curiosity. We purpose to give our children the gifts of investigation, experimentation, and discovery. In our home, Kindergarten science is hands-on. At different points during the year we

• observe caterpillars change to butterflies (you can order them online or plant a small portion of milkweed in a bed outside your home.

• purchase an ant farm (again online)

• dig holes outside and allow use of water, PVC pipe, small rocks, and anything needed to build dams, lakes, and pretend sinkholes

• plant seeds and grow beans

• watch bird behavior—building nests, flight patterns, listen and identify bird calls

• go hang out by the lake to feed ducks and fish, catch and release minnows

• go to the beach and find treasures and critters,collect and identify shells

• find tadpoles and watch them change to frogs

• build forts

• play in puddles

• observe different spider webs

• use magnifying glasses and our Magiscope

We check out books from the library on whatever topics we’re learning about (this doesn’t stop at Kindergarten). We also purchase resources and build our home library. The books fuel the curiosity. In our home, Kindergarten science is relaxed, real, engaging, and open-ended—meaning we dig in as deep as we want into any interest. In the end, science concepts well beyond Kindergarten are learned and retained. This has served all abilities well—learning challenged to gifted—and works well when teaching multiple-age children.

Nurture the Mind. This is closely related to and interweaves with nurturing curiosity. One of the reasons we decided to homeschool centered around how individual I knew learning could be and how that individualization could foster thinking, not matter what the age or ability of the child. Nurturing the mind can happen while playing (PLAY is super important in the early years), while engaged in conversation (littles NEED us to listen to their ideas and feelings), or while pondering open-ended questions (questions which cannot be answered with yes or no). Little learners are natural questioners. They wonder what will happen next, how things happen, and when things will happen. It is in this inquisitiveness that they learn how life and people work, interact, and interrelate. Questioning is one of the most important life skills parents can foster and nurture. Mike and I foster inquisitiveness with commentaries and questions which invite our children to do the same. 

• I wonder how the (insert animal) stays warm.

• What comes next in the sequence?  

• I wonder if (insert item) will work better with this or that.

• What do you think will happen next?

• I wonder where that trail leads.

• Let's watch the (insert animal). I wonder what it will do next. 

• How long do you think it will take to ...?

Nurture Physical Development. The park was our friend. Children need to run, skip, pump swings, climb rock walls. They need to move. Their bodies are still growing and developing essential muscle ability. Because the body develops from the center to the limb, a strong core is vital. I reminded myself when my children wanted to learn to spell their names, that core development influenced their ability to do so.

Part of why we decided to homeschool rested on the knowledge that I could give my children whatever they needed concept wise and not rob them of time to play. We use a solid math curriculum and we keep moving forward, meaning we sometimes need the first grade level. We don’t spend more than 20 mins at the table at at a time and provide interesting "math tools" to investigate, experiment with, and learn to use.

• kitchen scale

• tape measure

• ruler

• yardstick

• outside thermometer

• measuring cups and spoons

• a funnel

• bathroom scale (weights more than people, smile!)

• shape stencils

• protractors

In addition, the child’s piggy bank provides a great meaningful (children want to know how much money they have) resource to learn coin recognition; counting by ones, fives, and tens; and adding. We add engaging math-based picture books where we are able.

Outside of math, we

Read aloud. Reading aloud has been one of the most rewarding activities we've done in our more than years of teaching and parenting littles—picture books, biographies, non-fiction wonders. Each title opens opportunities for setting a template for the English language, building vocabulary, bolstering listening skills, understanding parts of a story, retelling events, the list goes on. Interestingly, there have been times when our little learners are seemingly off in their own world—playing, stacking blocks, coloring—while I read and yet, hours later, they remember EVERY word. So, as you embark on the read aloud journey, I encourage you to read, even when you think your learners are not engaged or paying attention. They are listening. Your reading matters!

The goal was to read aloud, everyday: one picture book, one science-related book (generally from what they were interested in or what we were observing and studying), and one biography or history-related book.

I made sure I left time for pretend play.

Pretend play. Littles learn by imagining and doing, by role playing and creating dialogue in relaxed and uninterrupted environments. Pretend play utilizes the senses and engages the mind, building language and thinking skills. Beginning in the toddler years, littles can be found feeding baby dolls, talking on pretend telephones, playing store, and mixing marvelous meals in a play kitchen. This continues through Kindergarten. What's needed? Props! Some of our favorite pretend play items have been:

• calculators, adding machines, and toy cash registers

• dress up clothes and hats, backpacks and purses

• fabric pieces, scarves, or old costumes

• aprons, chef hats, pretend food, and dishes

• stuffed animals and dolls

• receipt books, stickers, and play money

• old telephones, computer keyboards, and monitors

• puppets and make-shift card table theaters 

When the afternoon boredom sets in, I allow my children to utilize our art supplies or play games. You can read about how we built and organized our art supplies. Our favorite learning games are listed here. While creating art or playing games, littles practice turn taking with supplies, deferment to another person, waiting for others to make decisions or complete a turn, as well as a multitude of cognitive skills.

We want our Kindergarteners to know they matter—their thoughts, their ideas, their feelings, their development.

One of the best things about homeschooling is we get to do life together.

Do life together. One of the things I love about parenting Kindergarteners is watching their faces light up—indoors and outdoors, around the home, and on vacation.

• Getting the mail might lead to a conversation about stamps, addresses, states, or modes of transportation.

• Setting the table teaches one-to-one correspondence.

• Folding laundry offers opportunities to make fractional parts by folding in half and in half again.

• Matching shoes and sorting toys provides real-life situations for identifying similarities and differences.

• Making together, kitchen experiences: measuring, comparing, weighing (math skills) as well as muscle skills, scrubbing potatoes, stirring, and kneading together. Doing life together allows preschoolers to learn alongside. 

Every moment is a marvel, especially when Kindergarten learners are engaged in doing life with those they love.

Kinders are relational. They want to engage in face-to-face conversation and hand-in-hand exploration. When we talk to our children, listen to their questions, concerns, and ideas, we model interpersonal skills and they learn how to process information, feelings, and emotions. These skills are some of the most valuable nuggets our little learners will internalize in their early years. 

We purpose Kindergarten to be natural, engaging, and personal. We don’t spend extended time sitting at tables or face-to-face with workpages and fill-in the blanks. We want learning to be meaningful and relaxed, an extension of life, not segmented or overly scheduled.

Kindergarten may not look the same for you or your family. It’s part of the freedom you have to do what you feel is best needed for your children. Read and learn what’s out there, but spend most of your time observing, learning about, and enjoying nurturing your child. You will be surprised at the gains—cognitively, socially, emotionally, and physically.

Kindergarten is a gift.

Best to you as you unwrap that gift.

Distance Learning and Homeschooling

“Is the quarantine, distance learning like homeschooling? I mean, the kids are home, learning, so how is it different?”

This question. I’ve been asked it in many forms over the past weeks, but the underlying inquiry is the same.

Short answer. Not the same...SOMETIMES.

Sometimes?

We’re a homeschooling family of 26 years with four graduates. My husband is a 32-year veteran public school teacher currently instructing students via distance learning platforms. We’ve also been home education evaluators for 25 years.

We’ve sat around tables over the years; talking and looking through work samples produced by learners of all ages, walking with families from Kindergarten through graduation. We’ve seen the results of engaging a learning style and observed learners utilizing a great spectrum of learning philosophies. There’s been creative use of life opportunities and a collage of amazing educational creativity.

There are many types of home-based learning. It's a vast spectrum of possibilities. We’ve seen the results as we worked with families. Each family decides what works best for their family and begins to implement. There’s tweaking and adjusting to find good fits for learner. It’s not formulaic or set in stone. Some choose online learning exclusively, similiar to what my husband is doing with his public school students. The learners sit at the computer—read material, watch videos, take quizzes and tests—completing what the instructor assigns for all or most of their courses. That's one end of the spectrum. On the other end of the continuum, there's home education where a family uses everything they have at their fingertips and every part of life to promote thinking and learning—primary sources, museums, online courses, field trips, audio materials, cultural opportunities, civic events, library materials, entrepreneurial adventures, experiential activities, internships, mentorships, volunteer work, and even apprenticeships—to foster interests and cultivate the unique gifting of the learner. Families land all along this spectrum and some use different venues and resources for each child in the family. Learning doesn’t need to look the same for every child and although some home-based learning is like the distance learning many children and teens are experiencing in this season—where a teacher hands out all the work to be done and learners complete work virtually— there's also a plethora of other valuable options.

Home education is not bringing school home; duplicating what happens in a classroom. Yes, there are lessons, but they don’t all happen on paper or even on the computer. It is a tutorial method of education, an adjustment in teaching mode or method to the needs and developmental time table of the child. Sometimes that adjustment means not doing all the problems in a lesson because the material has been mastered. The time spent doing needless problems can be put toward learning another skill or free time to dig into an interest. At other times, home education allows for adjustments in schedule. An example would be taking a brain break after 10 minutes to refill a water bottle or do a few jumping jacks, maybe even ride a bicycle before heading back to a lesson. This is difficult to do in a group setting where jumping jacks might be considered a distraction to another student. With a limited number of learners it is easier to individualize schedules to optimize instruction. Home education also offers the opportunity to take learning off the page as much as necessary. This may take the form of observing life cycles, like caterpillars changing to butterflies or collecting tadpoles, instead of reading about the processes in a book. Experiential learning at the middle and high school level is possible, even preferable in many cases. In our years of coaching parents and young adults, we’ve encountered business start-ups and growth, video production projects, event planning, propagation of banana plants and engagement in sustainable gardening, award winning musicians, hopeful future Olympians, even the completion of the AA in conjunction with high school graduation. The possibilities are as vast as the learners who engage in this type of home education.

Side note #1. I am giving a shout out to the many educators I know who intentionally make experiential learning a priority because they know its value. I admire these educators—who often have to overcome obstacles to bring their students what they need because they know it’s best. Students are fortunate to have such opportunities. If that’s YOU, YOU matter and deserve KUDOS for the ingeniousness ways you make learning come alive in the classroom.

Side note #2. What many families are doing currently is crisis schooling—schooling with social distancing while sheltering at home under uncertain circumstances. Those who found themselves orchestrating distance learning did so with short notice while also navigating other life situations including job transitions. Most of us who chose to home educate didn’t have these obstacles to navigate. If you find yourself in the midst of circumstances you didn’t choose, my hat’s off to you. YOU can do this.

For those wondering if home education has changed, it’s a bit different, even for those of us who’ve been doing this awhile. Families are limited in comparison to what they normally have access. However, there is also possibility! The time is ripe for thinking, problem solving, and trying something different; with learning, that’s what people do—look for possibilities. Problem solve. Ask questions. Adjust. Ask more questions. Adjust and try again.

How is this season different, even for home education families?

With change, there’s opportunity to learn differently (hopefully a short season).

• Libraries are closed. Families must rely on their home libraries or online audio resources. We’ve personally enjoyed more Kindle and Audible. But, it’s still not quite the same—we love our home library but long for the ability to, once again, reserve resources online and have them dropped at our doorstep.

• Museums are closed. This rich cultural option is a missing component of art education, however we’ve discovered great online options—San Juan Museum of Art, The Vatican, and these—for now.

• Theaters are closed. Don’t let this temporary inconvenience stop the love of theater. Our family has enjoyed the free showings at the Globe Theater. You can, too.

• Contact with people, in-person outside our family, not an option. We love learning from other people. In fact, we discovered we can gain nuggets of information from almost every interaction—produce manager, postmaster, auto mechanic, neighbor, waiter. Though we can learn from online tutorials and videos, there’s no substitution for real people, real interactions. These interactions are missed, for sure.

What are the possibilities?

• There is time for digging deep into subjects of interest (assuming there is time built into the day to do so). When we plan time and offer resources to investigate (microscopes, magnifying glasses, water, sand, art supplies, fabric, and on and on), learners begin to understand they can wonder and discover and not have to wait for someone to tell them what to do and how to use resources. They learn to solve problems and find solutions. There’s even often an awareness that they can manage their time; time management is a life skill and comes with practice. These discoveries are freeing and nurture curiosity and a love of learning.

• There is time for family interaction. People crave relationship. We want to be in conversation, to know someone is available to listen and help process. One-on-one time, talking about what’s being discovered and learned. And, there are memory making moments: enjoying a game, eating a meal together, navigating conflict resolution, solving a puzzle, the possibilities for memorable time together are endless. Relationships matter, but they take time. With home education, we’ve got time.

Is distance learning like homeschooling?

Sometimes it is, other times it isn’t.

How to Use What You Have - Geography

We’ve adopted a phrase.

Use what we have to boost what we know.

Could mean one of two things.

Use the resources and items we have to learn something new.

Or

Use the resources and items we have to deepen or reinforce knowledge we learned previously.

Today, my mind is on geography and map skills.

In the era of digitalization and GPS, are geography skills still valuable?

Every family must decide, but our learning experiences have proven to us that this skills are important. Though amazing navigational tools and digital helps make finding our way easy, foundational concepts remain necessary if a person is to have context for conversation and learning. For example, if a child is engaged in a discussion about France, knowing where France is located it essential to understanding the context and content being shared. Likewise, if a child is reading a book set in the Alps, knowing the geographical relevance provides important insight to the characters, setting, and plot.

Geography does matter.

How can we add to our learner’s knowledge, to what they know as well as to what they might want to discover?

If you have a world map, atlas, or globe (ours would require a good dusting!), a child or teen could

• Learn the states and their capitals and label on a printable map.

  • Older learners can learn to spell the states and capitals.

• Find and identify the seven continents - North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, and Antarctica.

• Locate the major ocean basins - Atlantic, Pacific, Indian, Arctic, and Southern.

• Print a blank map of one of the continents. Locate and label the capitals and five major cities for each country. Draw in any significant land features—mountains, lakes, rivers, and deserts.

• Choose a country. Draw the country flag. Find out what major resources are available in the country. Research major landmarks. Discover the culture and customs. Consider creating a diorama, poster, or Powerpoint of what was learned.

• Research online to find a printable crossword puzzle or word search about a continent of choice. Use your atlas or map to help solve the puzzle.

• Read geography-related picture and non-fiction books.

• Take a trip around the world, together. Divide the family into two teams. Each team will need a map and a scavenger hunt (hit the print button). Based on the ages of your children, choose either a specific amount of allotted time to complete the hunt or simply determine the winner to be the first team to find all the items.

Have maps, globes, geography-related resources? Consider how your family might travel the world while learning or reviewing together.

Every. Moment. Matters. when making use of what’s available.

Cleaning, Learning, and Helping to Write the Chapters in Their Story

I needed to clean the bathroom. My preschooler wanted to hang out with me and needed my attention.

Shaving cream to the rescue.

With four squirts of fluffy goodness on the shower door, my eager little went to work writing letters. I began to scrub the floor. We engaged in conversation and I gave her some letters to practice. When she needed instruction on letter formation, I showed her the progression. She’d go back to writing, smooth over previously written letters, and write some more.

I continued cleaning.

About three-quarters through the scrubbing, my daughter cheerfully exclaimed,

“Mom, this is a great idea! We are such a great team at cleaning the bathroom. When I get to be a parent I am going to give my kids shaving cream and do the same thing.”

I thought she would simply be occupied while I cleaned. Silly me!

At that moment, I was reminded

• children want to be with people of significance, people who care about them

• children catch more than we imagine we teaching them

• parents play an important role in helping to write the chapters of children’s stories—and the stories for generations to come

What I did mattered today. Actually, what I do every day matters in the life of my children.

What you do matters, too.

Every. Moment. Matters.

Siblings: A Lifelong Gift

Sibling relationships matter, in fact they are one of the most influential aspects of our lives.

Fostering those relationships is daily business, woven in and through the moments of our days.

As I pondered how my adult children look at one another, how they intentionally spend time together, recollections of days—our moments together, good and hard—flipped through my mind. I remembered teasing, but I also treasured the view I enjoyed of intense collaboration on a mutual project. And, there were tears. Overshadowing the tears, I smiled with a warm mama heart at baseball dugout high fives.

The collage of snapshots kept filling my mind.

From my current place, the watching on of a mom looking back, I am thankful for the moments—hard and good—intentionality won. There wasn’t a win in every situation, but enough, and they made the difference.

“Open expression of my delight in a child is heard by his or her siblings. The statement of affirmation resonates and situates in the heart. Open expression of delight offers an invitation to see a sibling in a different light, a more positive perspective. Purposeful sharing of genuine gratitude and pleasure—about every sibling, at one time or another—settle and linger, remembered, pondered, and valued. ”

— Cheryl Bastian

I learned long ago (through bumps and trials), I can’t make siblings want to be together. I can’t force them to play a game, nicely side-by-side (that brings grudge) or make them share a toy (that brings animosity). But, I can plant seeds of invitation, words and actions which make being together a wanted, valued gift—and in many situations, a sacrifice of some kind. When sacrifice is chosen, warm heart “that was hard, but I’m glad I made the choice” remains.

What makes an open expression of delight an invitation? Positive comments. Affirming statements. Stories.

“As a mom, I am a conduit of delight, a messenger of an invitation—a lifelong reminder to see the interests and giftings and goodness in a sibling. This is a place worthy of my time and energy. ”

— Cheryl Bastian

I remember making the statement, “I love the way shared your sandwich. You are so thoughtful of your brother.” It was attention brought to generosity. Both listeners benefited—one receiving acknowledgement for the action, the other offered the treat of recognizing his brother’s care. Each smiled and took in the moment.

Laundry spread on the couch; seeing it deflated my confidence. I sat down and began folding. Soon after, a helper made himself known. We sat, folding, talking. When we had conquered the pile, I shared, “I know you went out of your way to help Mom finish the folding. Thank you!” I was truly grateful for the help and the conversation. In the moment of shared gratitude, there was a sense of value and acknowledgement of contribution. Brother’s siblings heard and were partakers in the gratitude—shared gratitude, contribution, value.

These are the invitations dropped in their days—invitations to be grateful, to contribute, and to bring value, to be in the presence of those we love and have the ability to love.

I am a messenger. You are a messenger. Conduits. Notice how a sibling helps another, how they smile at another. Acknowledge. Affirm. Foster. These are the offerings worth our time as we nurture hearts—sibling relationships, a forever gift.

Our Eric Carle Unit Study

(An elementary level, week-long, study with Eric Carle’s beloved picture books.)

Eric Carle, a talented author/illustrator, inspires young readers with his bold illustrations and teachable content. Our youngest children (preschool to fifth grade) enjoyed a week-long study of Eric Carle’s works. By the end of the week, each child proudly displayed her book of Eric Carle art which was bound with a strip of fabric.

On the first day we re-read The Very Hungry Caterpillar, discussed the life cycle of a butterfly and created our own tissue paper collage caterpillar. We ordered planted plants which attract butterflies and watched a biographical video entitled Eric Carle, Picture Writer. Our children loved learning about the man and story behind the stories. 

On the second day we read The Very Busy Spider and discussed the benefits of hard work. Our preschooler made the sounds of the animals in the book and our elementary children discussed the differences between spiders and insects. We all marveled at the raised web on each page of this engaging picture book. At the suggestion of one of learners, we headed outside to look for webs and spiders. While walking, I remembered I had plastic spider counters. We made and added sets. The older learners made arrays—rows and columns (enter multiplication concept). When it came time to make our own spider art, the fifth grader remembered we had silver glitter glue in the art cabinet, which in her opinion, would make the perfect web. The younger children agreed and soon four very busy spiders were created.

On the third day we read The Grouchy Ladybug. We discussed good and bad attitudes, friendship, manners and the power of the spoken word. Our first grader had a quick review of telling time to the hour, with the help of the clock on each page of Eric Carle's book. Older children found the life cycle of the ladybug fascinating. We Googled ladybugs and watched a few informative video clips. Finally, we made our own ladybugs with wings which opened (thanks to a brass fastener) to reveal the words "thank you".  Google eyes brought life to the ladybug.

On the fourth day we read Papa, Please Get the Moon for Me.  We talked about the phases of the moon and were determined to watch the moon for a whole month to observe the phases. For the young ones, we discussed the difference between fiction and non-fiction. We concluded that the book was fiction because a ladder would never reach the moon. We then compared the illustrations of the books Eric Carle created designed our own fold-out ladder page for our book. Later that evening we read Mister Seahorse, discussed the sea life featured in the book and the important role parents play in the lives of their children. We marveled at the way the male seahorse cares for his young. One learner wanted to make tissue paper seahorses like the ones in the book. A great idea! We used scraps of tissue paper from the previous days to create very colorful and unique tissue paper seahorse.

On the fifth day we wrote a title on the book cover of our art masterpieces (hello copy work, spelling and an explanation of capitalization in titles) and bound our book by weaving a scrap of fabric through three paper-punched holes. The littlest learners enjoyed making paper plate jellyfish to hang from the doorway and hearing me read A House for Hermit Crab.

Our week didn’t end there! Learning continued. After analyzing and comparing the art of Eric Carle to the work of other artists, we headed back to the library where our youngest ones selected more Eric Carle titles. Our four year old warmly stated, "Eric Carle is my favorite illustrator." Several weeks later, while on yet another visit to the library, I received another welcomed surprise. I mentioned I needed Mister Seahorse for a workshop I was presenting to moms in our homeschooling community. When the library volunteer asked, "Who is the author?" our six year old chimed in, "Eric Carle." YES!

Just what I had hoped...and more!  In addition to the academics we learned and retained, the curiosity and creativity of our four budding artists was fostered.

Our week had been productive, and FUN!

Chores in the High School Years

This year marks another shift in household responsibilities as our fourth child finished high school, our fifth child continues to move through those years, and two young adult graduates reside at home while working and attending college. All of us are trying to figure out the new normal with new courses and work schedules.

Needless to say, this isn’t our first go-round with adjusting to the schedules of our young adult children while also reconfiguring the completion of necessary daily tasks. (In other words, our experience doesn’t always equate to “we got this”).

When our first child entered high school in the early 2000’s we were broadsided with the thought that we might have to adjust his household responsibilities to make allowance for his new, fuller schedule. Most of the families we knew or books we read added to the confusion with their “they still live there, they still contribute” or “if they are not paying rent, they should be helping” advice.

Honestly, I had to unpack these well-meaning sentiments, the application of which seemed to strain and fray our relationship.

I was pretty sure there had to be a better way, a way we could work together to process and find solutions.

Relationships matter to us.

As our oldest entered high school, his days were full based on the choices he made to weave academics, sports, and service. In the later high school years, he took on a part-time job. Managing his time wasn’t an issue. He was navigating that well, but still had a hard time carving out ten minutes here and there to unload the dishwasher or take out the trash. He was, however, trying to work on it. His heart wanted to serve, but his days were full.

The second high schooler mirrored his brother—academics, sports, and service. He also managed to spend time earning badges on the road to Eagle and mentor younger scouts. Later in high school he, too, had a part-time job. Again, there were only so many hours in the day and his heart reflected an attitude of trying to help where he could. His days were full.

Enter young adults (now graduates) three and four. Different scenarios, different circumstances, same well-intentioned hearts. Again, we are finding the process worthy of mutual care and respect as we find a balance between school, work, and life. It’s a life skill, not something to be demanded or placed upon. And, we get to walk alongside.

But there’s the advice and pressure from other parents. So hard!

I wondered if there were other families facing similar ponderings.

I wondered if our processing would help others in their walk through. On my journey, I came face-to-face with these thoughts:

• Our high schoolers only has so much time in the day (a real truth for all of us). If I were in any of their shoes (and I have been), I would want someone to coach and process with me, not continue to place demands.

• Our high schoolers were using time wisely (to the best of their current ability), weaving work and school responsibilities. Again, having been through similar scenarios in life, I remembered I LOVED when people offered grace and an extra hug when I made a mistake and had to try again.

• When I find myself in a new life season (birth of a baby, health concerns, family needs) it takes me time to adjust. Why would it not be the same for my teens and young adults?

• Our high schoolers are willing to serve when they are able and obviously high school academics, sports, and service require more time than years prior. How can I be understanding instead of adding pressure?

• Our high schoolers are in the process of navigating a real-life scenarios - balancing work, school, and life (an important skill which doesn’t happen overnight). I have the ability to believe my high schoolers will figure this out. They need me to be a cheerleader (with my affirming words) of their efforts.

In the meantime, I discovered

I may have to do a few extra dishes or collect a few extra trash cans. My pondering brought understanding and empathy, potential ways for me to walk alongside as teens and young adults process their shifts in responsibility and life seasons.

My support is more meaningful and helpful than my nagging. My teens and young adults are not any different than I. We face some of the same life challenges and temptations. When I face a snag in life, I’m grateful for understanding, connection and communication verses anger, discouragement, and silence. Alibet, I do appreciate if I am doing something wrong or hurtful (sinful) that someone close to me would help me see the blind spot (another life lesson).

I am still learning (even as I adjust to our fourth graduate’s and our fifth high schooler’s new schedules). I don’t always navigate this process gracefully (though it is my heart to do so) but I am getting better at it. Truthfully, It’s hard to set aside the well-meaning sentiments of “he owes it to us” or the “you don’t have time to add this back on your plate or figure out how to adjust to his new stage of life” mentalities that I hear.

Fifteen years into the process of walking new life seasons with young adult children, I am still pondering, pondering deeper thoughts, thoughts that are important to family life, thoughts I now understand better. They matter! Every. Moment. Matters.

Learning from Life: Hurricanes and Drills

Hurricanes. Cordless drills. Pop.

This is what’s in our world this week.

This is what’s on the mind of my middle schooler.

Real and relational learning.

Connection and application.

Motivation and retention.

The past week has found our family face-to-face with Hurricane Dorian preparation. There’s been forecasts and projections. Models and movement. It’s in our world and it matters to our children (even if we intentionally keep the television off to lessen possibilities of news overload).

What matters, sticks.

Enter Pop with a bag of drills he brought over in case we needed to board up. Our middle schooler bounced to the foyer. Not only because she admires her grandpa, but because he had something of interest. Drills!

Pop sensed her curiosity (one of the things we love about him). He immediately bent down, unzipped the bag and began telling her stories. As he pulled out each drill, he told her what he appreciated about the functions of the model and mentioned a few jobs it could complete. He talked about his bits and offered explanations of why each might be useful. Oh, and he mentioned the model big brother owned.

Real-life show and tell happened in my foyer.

It was real and relational.

Drills. They’ve been on her mind from the first mention of boards going on the windows. It’s been over for over 72 hours and she’s still pondering, researching, planning. Her learning journey included opportunities to

• navigate the internet safely to find information

• ponder other information resources (enter two uncles—each with construction expertise—and more relational moments)

• conduct impromptu, informal interviews with uncles and more conversations with Pop at family dinner

• build reading comprehension, skimming, and scanning skills

• compare costs of drills (and the value of the accessories in combination sets)

• compare the specifications and applications for drills, hammer drills, and mixers

• research differences in voltage

• review and compare measurements as related to bits (1/4, 3/8, 1/2, 5/8, and 3/4)

• build vocabulary: lumens, mortar, thinset, ratchet, lithium, warranty, stud, joist, asset and torque (great Scrabble word!)

• spell words related to her searches (there’s been a lot of “Mom, how do you spell?”)

• use computation skills to figure out what’s in her savings and what she spent over the past months

• predict what she may make in the future

• ponder ways to gain needed income

Drills. They’re in my middle schooler’s world. They’re real and relational. She’s diving in and digging deep.

Her interest matters!

What’s in the world of your children or teens?

What matters to them?

Take time to ponder, observe, and listen.

Likely there’s learning—rich meaningful, memorable learning taking place. Don’t let it go unnoticed.

Every. Moment. Matters.

More than Credits: High School Philosophy, Morals, and Ethics

The high school years offer a season to celebrate the people our young adults are becoming. Part of that transformation is coming to understand how thoughts influence words and behavior as well as how to productively evaluate thoughts and the thought process.

Along that journey, there will be moments of confidence, clarity, and productivity, but there will also be times of disagreement,miscommunication, and debate. Our high schoolers are learning how to think and then communicate those thoughts while expanding their problem solving abilities and processing their mistakes, all in the light of what they believe to be true.

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In this season, young people continue to learn details about who they are and what value they bring to their spheres of influence.

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It’s philosophy; discovering a clearer picture of what one believes when compared to other’s thoughts and how those beliefs affect actions and words. It’s the wrestling with and expressing of morals, values, and ethics. It matters, and it can count for high school credit.

As you embark on the adventure, one of the first questions you may encounter is what content to include in a philosophy-type course. You aren’t the only one asking this question. In fact, many parents face this question, and usually haven’t had any idea where to start.

I’ve been in that place, too.

In fact, it’s why I decided to offer suggestions and a framework for a philosophy-based course in More than Credits! The content will empower and encourage you, offering selections for

• high-interest reading materials,

• suggestions for writing assignments, and

• practical hands-on experiences which will impact the young adult as well as the lives of others.

Intentional.Real. Relational.

More than Credits: Skills High Schoolers Need for Life

Ethics, the moral principles which undergird the standards by which individuals respond to important life questions, develop as we face life circumstances and choices. In those moments, we decide what we believe, why it matters, and where we will place our time and attention. Our high schoolers are no different. They face daily decisions amid a myriad of worldviews and philosophies.

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What they believe about God, themselves, and the situations in the world, matters. Home can provide a safe place to investigate truths, dialogue thoughts, and ponder choices.

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“A course which involves the development of philosophy, morals, and ethics gives high school learners opportunities to earn credit for wrestling with their thoughts, discovering what their faith means to them, and applying those thoughts to their life choices and their relationship with God.”

— Cheryl Bastian, More than Credits: Skills High Schoolers Need for Life

Most importantly, a young adult’s moral and ethical thoughts influence the decisions they make. Essentially, the content cultivates the “why” behind what an individual believes as well as why certain things are valued over certain other things. All of this encompasses an individual’s belief system and influences his or her spiritual growth and personal development beyond simply mimicking, borrowing, or living out the faith of his or her parents.

One of our learners grew to love C. S. Lewis. He had read the Narnia series earlier in his homeschooling years, but as a high schooler selected A Year with C. S. Lewis: Daily Readings from His Classic Works (HarperCollins Publishers, 2003) from our home library shelves. I had no idea he had such an appreciation for the author. I marveled how the devotional motivated him to read a handful of other classic Lewis writings. Amazingly, content developed because of his newly discovered curiosity for C. S. Lewis’s thoughts and the course began to take form without any planning on my part. I simply (albeit battling fear he would learn enough!) fostered his vested interest. Realizing the impact of self-selected reading, not just philosophical material but other resources as well, we adopted a motto in our home:

“Read the book and I will award credit for your accomplishment.”

Ultimately, one book led to an independent study, which we combined with other activities and great conversations! Seeing our son’s continued interest Lewis and then other great thinkers, Mike and I decided to read the books he was reading. Mike asked if he wanted to spend time each week talking about what we were learning, all of us. Without much direction about where our discussions might lead, we began to meet, ponder, and converse. Hearing each person express his or her opinions or interpretations about what was read and how those thoughts could be applied to current circumstances provided a venue to process viewpoints—the Socratic method, family-style.

We couldn’t possibly comprehend the fullness or richness of our first steps. Our dialogue through one book fueled more reading and before we knew it a weekly forum took shape. Best of all, something greater resulted: our relationships with one another deepened. We gained respect for one another and realized we could learn together. We weren’t just teaching our son. He taught us!

A few years into meeting consistently, our son commented, “I wish everyone had the opportunity to be in a community like this.” Years later, when we talked about the depth of our conversations, he commented, “Those years are the main reasons why I lead a small group at church today, so others can have the same opportunity I did!”

Wow! That’s philosophy credit with future implications.

Philosophy courses continue to fade from high school curriculum guides. Thankfully, our homeschooling freedoms allow for this essential course to remain a feasible choice for young adults. In fact, conversational group setting provides one of the most beneficial venues to process and ponder the philosophical thought which undergird and permeate life. Consider gathering your family or your young adult and his or her friends to ponder life together.

Conversations, heart connections with our young adults, provided some of the most meaningful experiences of our family’s high school years. Some of the most treasured, thought-provoking discussions happened over half-price milkshakes pondering a life-truth or a plate of nachos after losing a baseball game.

When we paused our days, looked one another in the eyes, and listened, family members knew their ideas and thoughts mattered.

And, philosophical, moral, and ethical thoughts and beliefs formed all the while.

Ride the West with Living Books

I didn’t see it coming.

Recently, I was reminded that some of the best learning “units” we’ve enjoyed were unplanned and unexpected. They were birthed by questions raised from learning a new word, being involved in an intriguing moment, or engaging in a fascinating event. One of our most recent learning tangents evolved after reading a few chapters of The Pony Express by Samuel Hopkins Adams (Random House, 1950) to my middle schooler. In the process, the elementary learner wondered what the excitement was about and she, too, was hooked. Before we knew it we were all riding the routes of the Pony Express (Mom included after realizing she didn’t know as much as she wished she did), racing through mountain passes, stopping at rest stations, and outwitting bandits.

I remembered we had a few more books about riders on our home library shelf—as well as books about the period of history. I invited my youngest to join me at the bookshelf to find other resources she might enjoy. She was intrigued by the cover of one in particular, Buffalo Bill and the Pony Express by Eleanor Coerr (HarperCollins,1995). Upon opening the book and fanning through the pages—seeing the larger font—she was even more excited. Large font. Easy, enjoyable reading. Unintimidating. We began reading and she immediately recognized some of the rider’s names and station stops from listening to me read to her sister. Learning about the Pony Express just got a bit more personal for her.

Three weeks later, looking back, the “unit” was more than I could have imagined, mostly because of the level of engagement. There was interest and they fully “owned” what they were learning, because they were interested. The more we read, the more involved my learners became. When they had questions, we did our best to find answers. This paved the way to practice research skills.

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Language arts. Study skills. History.

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I know my girls remember a large percentage of what they learned. That makes my heart smile. But, there was something else that grew along with their knowledge…a relationship. They had something in common, a mutual interest, something they could talk and wonder about. They shared what they learned; got excited together.

I could never have manufactured or orchestrated that aspect of the process.

Even after 26 years of homeschooling, I didn’t see a “unit” growing from this book.

But, it did!!

And, I am grateful.

Today, because of that deeper care for one another, they are outside reading in the fort. That’s another story for another day.

Related resources for riding and exploring the west:

Buffalo Bill, Augusta Stevenson (Childhood of Famous Americans)

Buffalo Bill: Wild West Showman, Mary R. Davidson (Discovery biography series, Garrard Publishers)

The California Gold Rush, May McNeer (Landmark series)

Annie Oakley: The Shooting Star, Charles P. Graves (Discovery biography series, Garrard Publishers)

Jim Bridger: Man of the Mountains, Willard and Celia Luce (Discovery biography series, Garrard Publishers)

Kit Carson: Pathfinder of the West, Nardi Reeder Campion (Discovery biography series, Garrard Publishers)

Daniel Boone: The Opening of the Wilderness, John Mason Brown (Landmark series)

Daniel Boone: Young Hunter, Augusta Stevenson (Childhood of Famous Americans)

The Story of Daniel Boone, William O’Steele (Signature series)

When Curriculum Looks Different

People often ask what we use for curriculum.

The short answer? We use anything which will help our children learn what it is they are trying to learn. And, if it involves real life, even better.

Sometimes our curriculum looks traditional, like a math textbook.

Other times our curriculum is a stack of Living Books.

A few months ago, my middle schooler initiated a flower bed renovation project. She wanted a flower garden to call her own, a place she could eventually grow cut flowers. A few visits to the clearance section of the local garden shop and she had rescued several very nice—but wilting—flowers (aka curriculum). With a little research in a field guide and a how-to online tutorial (more curriculum), the plants were thriving.

Today we added a few more resources to the curriculum—a collection of solar garden lights. Before placing them in the bed, we experimented with them in a dark room. So fun! The littlest learners were enthralled!

“Flashlights without batteries!” one shouted.

Curriculum incorporates all that a learner uses to learn the content of a specific subject. Though we are often tempted to stay within the means of what we know or have experienced as curriculum, in real-life the definition of curriculum broadens to include any materials used to foster a student’s understanding.

The possibilities are endless.

Consider broadening your sense of what curriculum includes. Maybe it’s

• Front porch wonders
• Stickers, a Scrabble board, and some acorns
• An ant farm
• An Olympic runner and her friend
• DYI projects and a grandfather
• 4-H studies
• Field trips
• A stack of Living Books
• Owl pellets and a Magiscope

When learning is real, relational and intentional it's remembered! 

Every. Moment. Matters.

Field Trip Learning with Multiple Ages

Dad's first day of Spring Break invited us all--six learners ages 2-20 and two parents--into an educational extravaganza. We visited the Lego exhibit at Leu Gardens. 

Learning surrounds us. It's part of life. Gathered around the kitchen table working math problems, we often forget the rich learning which takes place when we venture out, walk through life together and learn.

Last Friday,  as we marveled at Lego creations and smelled Sweet Alyssum, I remembered how much littles (and bigs) need field trips, time out and about to learn together.

While on our Lego garden adventure, 

• the youngest learners instinctively balanced on the curbs and looked for rabbits. We didn't stop to run or roll down the hills, though it would have benefited their vestibular development. On another visit, we will definitely leave time to run and roll! 

• the elementary learners compared the number of bricks in each sculpture. This allowed for practical comparison of place value and oral practice of reading and saying numbers over ten thousand. 
• the learners, together, marveled at the patterns in the Lego sculptures. While we oohed and ahhed, we deepened our appreciation for one another and the things each considers beautiful. 

• the learners worked together to navigate the map to find the places they wanted to visit. When they had a question, we encouraged them to consult an older sibling. While navigating, heading to the north forest, we heard owls hooting above our heads. We stopped, looked in between branches and gazed at these magnificent birds. We watched as two owls called out their territory and then had a brief altercation with their talons right above our heads! The youngest learners asked great questions as their curiosity was sparked. I am glad we took time to look up! 

• the middle schooler with a current interest in horticulture, stopped to read signage which explained foliage. She took pictures of plants she wanted to incorporate into our yard. 
• the high schooler and college student enjoyed taking pictures of the amazing blooms, chatting about life as they walked along. I loved watching them spend time together and marveling at the wonder their siblings were taking in. 

While visiting the gardens, I was also reminded me that children often tell us what they need. The key is listening (and not having an agenda--ouch!). After walking about an hour, the littlest--map still in hand and spying a nice shady hill--interjected her thoughts,

"I think we need a picnic!"

She articulated her need to stop, sit, and enjoy a snack. Honestly, we all benefited from the refreshing break. Snacks eaten, we headed out for the second part of the self-guided tour. 

After walking and enjoying the outdoors for three hours, we headed to the car. The youngest cried. We instantly thought, "She's ready to go home!" Instead, when I asked about her sadness she said, "I didn't see any rabbits!" Dad decided we should stop at the library on the way home and check out some rabbit books. Tears disappeared and a smile returned to her face. 

A stop at the library was a perfect way to close out our day together. 

What learning adventures await your family today? Maybe nature walks? Maybe puddles? Perhaps something which will come about spontaneously.

Whatever that learning adventure is, may it be one which is memorable for your family. 

Every. Moment. Matters!  

High School Credit for Work Experience

“Can I count my high schooler’s work experience for credit?”

In the course of a week, three parents asked me this question. One in particular came through the Celebrate High School Facebook community.

The answer is multi-faceted, unique to state requirements and learner’s educational and career path.

First, parents must know and understand their responsibilities and freedoms under their state home education statute.

Find out

• Are home educated students in your state required to meet state graduation requirements?
• Does your state statute allow parents to oversee coursework and determine course credit?
• Are parents given the freedom to create titles for courses or must the state DOE titles be used (as is the case with some private schools)?

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The answers to those questions will contribute to your decision making process.

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The second step in the process of deciding whether or not to award credit for work experience is to determine what the high schooler gained from his or her employment. Life skills? Knowledge? Personal development? The gains vary greatly dependent upon the high schooler's motivation, work ethic, job title, and employment requirements. Again, this is highly individual. 

Determine Gains

Conversation with your high schooler is essential in the process of determining the gains. Why? Likely, as with most parents, you are not on the job with your learner to see and hear what he or she encounters or discovers. Engage in discussion. Ask questions. Listen for the young adult's passions, likes, and dislikes without condemnation. Often as young adults process, they need someone to mirror back or clarify what they expressed. I find it helpful to remind myself that when my middle and high schoolers share feelings, they are processing, perhaps sharing thoughts for the first time. The thoughts and feelings shared matter to them and when I ask clarifying questions, they often come to a better understanding of the situation. As you walk the journey with your middle or high schooler, not only will the gains of the current job become known, but the relationship between you and your teen will have great potential for growth as well. 

To help determine what skills and knowledge were acquired by the employment--the experiential learning opportunity--consider asking your high schooler:

What skills he or she feels were learned as a result of the work experience?

This is one of those occasions when I encourage parents to make a bullet-point list of skills and content the high schooler learned. Seeing the visual list often clarifies gains and aids in determining a course title which is specific and accurate to the experience. Examples may include Equine Science (barn assistant who interacts with equine professionals, observes or oversees equine care and nutrition), Nutrition and Wellness (assistant to a personal trainer), or String Ensemble (member of string quartet playing for weddings and special events).

Are the skills focused on a specific content area or are the skills broad, focused toward soft skill and personal growth development?

Looking over the content acquired, determine whether the skills were specific to an area of study (paid position at a zoological park) or broad, general and related to successful movement to adulthood (time management, personal growth, and communication skills). The difference may be titling the course Zoological Studies or Personal and Career Development.

Did the high schooler earn accolades, awards, or hold specific leadership roles (positional or managerial titles) associated with the experience? 

For example, if your young adult is a shift manager there are likely managerial and leadership skills involved in what he or she does while on site. Perhaps a course title like Managerial Leadership, Leadership Strategies and Techniques, or Exploration in Culinary Management might be suitable. 

Our daughter became a self-employed, small business owner in middle school. She continued to build her business through the high school years. Not only did she create and keep track of inventory, she registered her business with the state, filed quarterly sales tax, figured profit and loss statements, kept a running log of sales and inventory, opened a checking account, built a website, handled emails, filled orders, and participated in craft venues. She earned money, but she also gained knowledge and work experience. With integrity, I awarded her one credit in Business and Entrepreneurial Principles.

Our journey of awarding credit for paid work experience hasn’t come without criticism. Yours won’t either. In fact, you may have been told you can’t double dip —count paid work experience as high school credit. 

"You can't double dip!"

This happened to me. A well-meaning veteran homeschool mom informed me I couldn’t use work experience for credit. I listened. Yet, as a Mom who has the freedom to oversee our children’s education, knowing the life lessons and knowledge my young adults were gaining in their paid employment opportunities, I set out to research. It just didn't seem right not to be able to obtain credit from such rich, valuable life experience. 

Credit Worthy

I discovered my state provides the right for me--as a registered home educator--to oversee the education of my children. In that freedom, I am able to decide what can be deemed credit worthy and I can title mastered content accordingly. I could not ignore the fact that my high schoolers were engaged in learning while on the job. And, with the valuable conversations Mike and I were having with our high schoolers, we knew they were learning content not taught in a traditional textbooks or acquired through lecture. The skills and content they were learning required experience--opportunity to do, decide, make mistakes, and to try again--often under the guidance of a mentor or the supervision of a professional in a career area. In addition, I observed our high schoolers applying what they learned in the work setting to other areas of their lives. They would summarize what they learned on any given day, share their thoughts about what they experienced, and ask questions about things that intrigued them. Our discussions led to discovering deeper life truths as well the building of grit, growth mindset, and personal emotional intelligence—some of the most valuable assets to adulthood and future employment.

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What our learners were gaining on the job was credit worthy. 

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In my mind, the experiences—the content learned while on the job interfacing with professionals—was credit worthy, regardless of whether or not the high schooler was paid. Essentially, the learner was paid to learn!

If life is learning and learning is life-long, it made sense to me that I could confer credit.

Our second son was invited to apply for a summer job as a teacher’s assistant at a preschool. I knew the Director and many of the teachers who worked at the school. In fact, I had worked there as a high schooler and my experience became a catalyst for my choice to pursue early childhood education. Knowing the value of my personal experience, I encouraged our son to apply for the position. Yes, he would earn a paycheck, but he would be mentored by knowledgeable staff who knew the developmental needs of young children.

Art camp began and indeed our son came home each day recounting his experiences. He commented on the conversations teachers had with students, how they listened and responded with open ended questions. He observed as teachers fostered curiosity and intentionally planned activities to promote wonder. His understandings of the developmental stages of art came from comparing preschooler's line drawings and seeing beaming smiles of accomplishment. Learning was experiences, not just memorized facts. In addition, he was learned about classroom management, developmentally appropriate art experiences, and the profession of early childhood education.

The summer came to a close and he was invited to remain on staff for the next school year. He would be the outside assistant--the preschool physical education overseer. He accepted. This change in position brought opportunities to observe the stages of motor development in real life. He watched children progress from running to galloping, from climbing stairs one foot at a time to alternating feet. He knelt down beside children who poured sand in funnels and floated boats in water tables. We talked about discoveries he watched children make and asked me about my experiences with children on the spectrum. The knowledge he gained through his experiences at the preschool were some of the very same things I studied in my college early childhood college courses.

At that moment, I realized the fifteen hours a week he was working at the preschool was preparing him with life skills of time management, communication skills, and workplace etiquette, but it was also equipping him with a foundation of knowledge in the area of early childhood development. In his junior year, I awarded him one credit in Introduction to Early Childhood Education.

Where is your learner employed? Maybe it is the local hardware store where knowledge of tools and home repair are prerequisite for employment. Maybe your high schooler was hired as a shift manager at a local eatery, managing and overseeing a team of co-workers. No matter where your young adult is employed, consider the skills being acquired, the career-related vocabulary being obtained, the decision making involved as part of the job, the conversations being had between coworkers and employers, and subject content being mastered through the opportunity. No doubt much more is being learned than you or your student imagined! 

Titles Speak Volumes

Generally high schools title work experience Executive Internship or Work Study. These are broad brush titles which say nothing about the student or content. However, if the home educating parent has the freedom to title courses, course titling can be strategic, mirroring the student’s interest and the content knowledge gained. Here is a small sampling of title examples. 

Arts

Creative Photography

Studio Arts

Printmaking

Dance Technique

Dance Performance

Dance Kinesiology

Choreography

Eurhythmics

Music Performance (use specific instrument in titles if appropriate)

Music Ensemble 

Jazz Ensemble

Chamber Orchestra

Music Internship

Music Composition and Arrangement

Musical Theater and Production

Music Technology and Sound Engineering

Theater Production

Cinematography

Technical Theater

Set Production

Acting

Theater Management

Print and Broadcast Media

Library Media Services

Journalism

Digital Art Imaging

Digital Media Design

Video Production

Visual Technology

Computer Sciences

Applied Computer and Information Technology

Information Technology

Business and Entrepreneurial

Business Principles

Marketing Strategies

Marketing Principles

Managerial Principles

Health Sciences

Nutrition and Wellness

Food Service

Human Growth and Development

Introduction to Early Childhood Education

Personal and Career Development

Capstone or Cornerstone Projects

Capstone Seminar

Capstone Research

Consider the course titles provided in this blog post about electives. 

This blog post is intended to offer an example of personal experience. It is in no way intended to be legal advice and should not be taken as such. Parents own the sole responsibility for the training and education of their children. 

Beating Afternoon Boredom

Who doesn't battle afternoon boredom?

Let's not take a show of hands. Rest assured, my hand would be raised. 

You know the story. Three o'clock. Children squabbling. A high schooler STILL needs help with Algebra. And dinner? It's frozen on the counter! 

Afternoons can be hard. Yet, after years of beating afternoon boredom, I know the efforts I made toward defeating "I'm bored" syndromes--in myself as well as my children--mattered. In fact, hobbies launched and rediscovered interests became catalysts for entrepreneurial pursuits, high school courses, and career choices.

Beating afternoon boredom is worth every ounce of time and energy we can muster. 

At a recent mom's event, a group of ladies gathered after to ask me how our family beats the afternoon wearies. 

Our strategies varied with life seasons. 

When we had two eager, active boys, we: 

• spent many afternoons outside. 
• visited local parks. 
• had Popsicle and wading pool parties--adding measuring cups, a bucket, and garden hose to change things up--as long as the weather allowed.
• ran around outside playing with squirt guns.
• played in the lawn sprinkler. Notice the hose and water trend?
• read a book together while sitting on a blanket outside or on the couch inside.
• took an afternoon bath with bubbles and wrote with shaving cream on the walls (great for practicing letter formation).
• took nature scavenger hunts. 
• played hopscotch or jumped rope. 
• created with sidewalk chalk on the driveway. 
• painted the garage door with water and paint brushes. 
• tossed bean bags. 
• bought a basketball hoop and gathered children from the neighborhood to play. 
• played wiffle ball in the dead end street.
• created with watercolors.
• encouraged outdoor adventures and independent studies. 

When we had lots of littles with a few bigs who needed afternoon help, we:

• sat on the floor in the hallway across from the bathroom so I could supervise littles in the tub while also helping an older sibling with math or editing papers.
• spread a blanket under a shade tree for afternoon tutoring while the littles rode bikes around the driveway or played hide-n-seek. 
• listened to audio books, our favorites being Jim Weiss recordings and Your Story Hour, again while mom worked with the bigs.
• offered play dough, pattern blocks, old magazines to cut, or watercolor paints. 
• enjoyed playing in the sandbox while mom and older siblings sat nearby and completed math or mom edited papers. 
• used masking tape to create a "village roadway" on the carpet so littles could build houses and garages for their toy cars and play "village". 
• made a masking tape hopscotch on the carpet for littles to be active when weather wouldn't permit us to be outside. 
• asked bigs to go on a date and take learning to new surroundings. 
• discussed the plot and characters of a current read while running errands or taking a sibling to practice. 
• encouraged bigs to work on independent studies. 

When we had a menagerie of ages, we: 

• enjoyed front porch read-aloud time. 
• created with Lite Brite.
• went to visit great-grandma. 
• sat together on the couch and read books of interest. Farm study was always a favorite. 
• took a teen or young adult on a date to talk about things that mattered to them. 
• used a coupon and bought five pounds of clay at a local craft store. 
• spent time at a local park or community swimming pool. 
• made brownies for the elderly neighbor and went to visit. 
• built a fort outside. 
• dug a hole in the backyard (not my favorite or my idea, but it was sibling generated and encouraged collaboration and working together). 
• made impromptu afternoon library runs. 
• created something yummy in the kitchen, often to "surprise" Dad when he returned from work. 
• made cards for family member's birthdays.
• enjoyed spin art. 
• cared for our porch science projects. 
• spent the afternoon creating with watercolor. 

Go ahead! Beat the afternoon boredom. YOU can do it! It will be worth your time and effort. 

And, in the process, your children and young adults will learn valuable life skills: time management; collaboration; communication and conflict resolution; work ethic; teamwork; working independently; and caring about others ideas, thoughts, and feelings. 

Trusting Children with Little, Leads to Much

Children entrusted with little will one day be able to be trusted with much. 

What is your child able to be trusted with today, right now? 

It's hard, isn't it, to say yes--to trust, to risk. 

When I was a young mom, I held on more tightly, regulated and controlled what I could, fearing the worst, yet longing to raise children who would one day to be independent. As my oldest children grew, I realized I was doing them a disservice. They wouldn't become responsible, and one day independent, if I waited until the day before I expected them to launch. I had to change my thinking. 

If one day I wanted them to be trusted with much, I needed to begin trusting them with little. 

It would be a process. 

• A receipt from the grocery store. My two-and-a-half-year-old always wants to carry the receipt, along with the spare change. When I give her the handful--all of it--she feels empowered, trusted. And, she is mindful of what she's doing, like she is guarding a million dollars! 
• The keys to the house. When we pull in the driveway, my six-year-old always asks for the keys as soon as I pull them from the ignition. She wants to carry the keys and unlock the front door. In doing so, she feels capable, able to help the family enter the home. 
• My cell phone. A few weeks ago, Mike and two middle girls took a road trip to the softball World Series. When I called to check in, one of the girls answered the phone. The proud voice on the other end exclaimed that Dad let her be the secretary, especially when he was driving. She felt important, able to meet a need.

The empowerment to independence was indeed a process. When the day came for each child to sit in the driver's seat of our car for his or her first solo ride, babysit, or travel alone, I knew he or she was ready. Each of the children had had a multitude of opportunities to prove responsibility and trustworthiness. 

On our second son's wedding day, I remember reflecting on his readiness to not only be responsible for himself but also to consider the well-being of another person into his days. One day he was entrusted with bringing in his bike from the rain, another day to was instructed with how to use grandfather's fishing pole. A year or so later, he was given command of a canoe of younger scouts. Not too long after, he asked for the keys to our car, and then, a few years later, he waited at the end of an aisle for his bride. Trusting him with a little grew to trusting him with much. 

It was a process, one which took time. And, looking back, the years flew faster than I ever imagined they would. 

25 Intentional Moments with Your Teens and Young Adults

"Mom, can we go on a date?"

It starts when they are little, but it doesn't have to end there. 

Teens and young adults LOVE intentional moments with their parents, too. 

A wise, older mom once encouraged me to foster a relationship with my children when they were young. I have to admit, it wasn't always easy to be excited to watch ants make a hill, walk around the lake hunting for tadpoles, or play Candyland for a second or third time as laundry hollered to be loaded and dinner shouted to be started. There were seasons of new babies and illnesses. 

But, I listened to my friend's her sage wisdom, what she had learned from her experiences.

The purpose, she said,

"If you want a relationship with your young adults, start when they are little and never stop!"

Twenty-seven years into this parenting thing, I can say I was intentional about putting my best foot forward to engage in my children's lives.

But, I will be honest. I wasn't always happy about setting aside my ideas or my activities. 

There were moments I complained. There were days I was tired, but persevered anyway. My children saw my intentions. 

What I learned from that older mom?

My efforts mattered--all of them, even the ones that were not picture perfect.

Fast forward. 

What do we do when children get older, when dates are more than playing a game (though some older children still enjoy games), stopping by the playground, or catching butterflies?

Or, what if life circumstances kept us from spending as much time with our children as we would have liked? Do we throw in the towel and assume a relationship with our teens can't be fostered? 

We start with where we are now--parent and child, parent and young adult.

No one outgrows the need for relationship and time spent on relationships is never wasted. 

So, where do we start (or continue) with our older children? 

Start with what they enjoy, what they like. 

With five very different teens, young adults, and adult children, the times we spend together varies.

Sometimes I initiate time together. Other times a child asks will ask to spend time together. Some of my ideas are really creative, others met a daily need, or accomplished a  task. Our favorite times include:

1. Sipping hot chocolate. Outside on the patio or sitting cross-legged on the couch, just the two (or three) of us.

2. Taking a walk. This is a favorite for one of my health and fitness-minded young adults. 

3. Going to the thrift store. Often there's a goal for our adventures at our local thrift store's half-price Wednesday. We most always arrive home feeling great about the time we spent together and the bargains we find.

4. Working out together. This is a HUGE stretch for me (no pun intended!) but makes my young adults chuckle. Yes, we've had some laughs at my expense! Laughter is part of relationship building.

5. Painting the bedroom. At some point in the teen years, most young adults desire to freshen up their room. Spending a weekend choosing a color and applying the new coat of freshness can make memories, for sure.

6. Designing a website. My entrepreneur asked if I'd help her figure out how to build a free site. A few days later, we were able to say, "I couldn't have done that without you!"

7. Going shopping. My children know shopping is not something I really enjoy. I like bargains, but I have other things I would rather do. And, with eight children, it seems someone always needs a new shirt, underwear, or a larger size sneakers!  And, often the request doesn't come at an ideal time. However, if one of my children needs something and asks me to go along, I'm there. In fact, one of my favorite mommy heart moments was when my adult child set up his first apartment and asked me to go with him to give my opinion on a couch. I was honored and accepted the invitation with a warm heart. I will never forget that day!

8. Eating a plateful of nachos. While my boys were playing high school baseball, they would often arrive home starving and needing to process the action of the game. It was often hard to keep my tired eyes open--and I rarely remembered the fine details of every inning--but those late evenings were more than worth the sleep I lost. I will admit these late night dates made maintaining weight a challenge. 

9. Reading a book. One of our young adults loved to read and then engage in conversation, pondering thoughts with someone else. Often Mike or I was that someone else. What an honor and a privilege! Perhaps your young adult might enjoy this type of time together. 

10.  Sharing an appetizer. Sharing an afternoon appetizer at a local restaurant may be just the change of scenery your young adult needs. Often restaurants offer afternoon specials to encourage patrons. Research the deals in your area. It may be just the renewal a relationship needs. 

11.  Solving a jigsaw puzzle. Though this hasn't been a terribly frequent choice, when we did engage in this challenge we were able to say, "We accomplished a task together."

12. Making greeting cards. From the very early years of our marriage there hasn't been a lot of extra cash in the budget for cards. Creating cards to make someone smile, has definitely been heart-warming. Making several to keep some on hand for needs that arise may be a great way to spend time with your creative. 

13. Visiting a museum. One of our young adults enjoyed visiting museums, especially art and history. Interestingly, I became quite interested in both art and history, neither of which were natural interests of mine. I love when the interests of one family member rub off on another. 

14. Volunteering together. When my high schoolers began to need community service hours, we were always looking for venues to serve. Though it would have been easier to drop off and go, when invited to stay, we accepted. As it turned out the experienced blessed several family members for several years. 

15. Enjoying free coffee. I have a young adult who is very frugal...and loves coffee. This has definitely been a favorite date, especially National Coffee Day rolls on September 29.

16. Using a coupon. In a large family where money can be tight, we have gotten creative and in the process have enjoyed great times together, frugally. Honestly, once they got the hang of it, my teens and young adults came up with amazingly great deals and ideas to send time together.

17. Riding bikes. Whether biking for the sake of staying fit or enjoying time outside, this has been a favorite in all stages of life. 

18. Doing a DYI project. If you have an innovator or a creative, this can be a fun way to spend the afternoon. I have learned fun DIY ideas from my young adults. 

19. Enjoying nachos, AGAIN!  WHEW! The high school ball nights turned into freshman year of college--seemingly overnight! My oldest--then a college freshman--invited me to share his nachos, a little later in that season of life...at 1 AM. I said YES! And, I never regretted it. He continued to ask and I gained what I call the Mom Freshmen Fifteen!

20. Going BOGO. One of the favorite date requests for our youngers and olders is BOGO shakes at the local Steak N' Shake. The waitresses know us well!

21. Sharing a tradition. Some of our dates were a vehicle for generational sharing. Consider the traditions of your family and how you might share those with yet another generation--shopping for sibling Christmas presents, coffee with Grandma, attending Memorial Day veteran celebrations have been among our favs.

22. Learning a new skill. Learning is life-long. We parents can model this by inviting a young adult to learn a new skill alongside us or we can offer to help a young adult learn a new skill, perhaps one he or she has desired to learn for awhile. Together, my young adults and I have learned how to make lollipops, plant a garden, paint window shutters, and sew aprons. What new skills may await the relationship with your teen?

23. Opening a bank account. Sometimes life's seasons bring amazing date opportunities. Embracing these times, we have with our young adults matters. Often we grab an ice cream or coffee on the way home!

24. Cashing in on rewards. I wasn't a big coffee fan. However, when one of my young adults wanted to join a reward program so we could date and earn rewards, I was all in! And, we've both enjoyed the time together and the freebies!

25. Sharing life! Moments with your teens and young adults don't have to fancy or elaborate. The important point of cultivating a relationship with your children is being intentional about taking time to share life together. In doing so, the parent-child-young adult relationship is built and fostered.

Every. Moment. Matters.